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How did your kids react to your hair loss? I have a five year old girl and she's scared.

kelly merkling Profile
Asked by

anonymous

Learning About Breast Cancer over 7 years
 
  • Christina Archambault Profile
    anonymous
    Stage 2B Patient
    My son was also scared he is autistic so it was worse , he wouldn't make eye contact at all if I wasn't wearing anything on my head at all. I just wore a bandanna on my bald head and got books about other mommys going through what I am so I could explain it to him in different ways. Or I would put my wig on and let him brush it.
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Anne Marie jacintho Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2003
    Kelly, my daughter was 4 when I was first diagnosed I had been open and honest about my breast cancer and the need for surgery to get rid of it. Thought all was good as my husband and I tried our best to be positive and continue living a regular live. When my daughter was in kindergarten the teachers aide was wearing pink for the month of October and she told the class that her mother died from breast cancer. This was about a year after my diagnosis my daughter was coloring at the table and out of the blue says "mrs. -- said if you have breast cancer you die ". I was dumbfounded took a deep breath and tried to reassure my daughter told her I had breast cancer and did not die. Breast cancer can be treatable. My daughter said "okay " and went on coloring. It wasn't until she said that, that i realized my daughter was scared I would die. She is now 12 I think that fear is still in the back of her mind. She will see a doctors appt on the calendar and she'll question me what it is for. I think it is a bit hard for girls they see what we are going through and they wonder if they will have to go through the same thing. When my cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer her daughter was twelve and just starting to develop her concern was that she was doomed and wondered when she herself would get breast cancer. Just have to reassure our daughters. Just because we have cancer doesn't mean we will die. Just because we have cancer doesn't mean they will too. Most important is to let them know that cancer is yucky but there are many survivors and every year better testing and better treatments. I did not need chemo, so I can't really answer your question about what to tell your daughter about loosing your hair, but I thought sharing my experience with my daughter might give you a little insight. Take care hugs
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • blair greiner Profile
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    Kelly I am taking my son with me when I shave it so he knows that I did it to myself.
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Sharon Danielson Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2007
    Kelly, I can only imagine how it would be very difficult to explain to your child what is happening to you. The only thing I can compare it to is my friend brought her two girls over. I knew them all well but I was wondering how they were going to react to my --bowling-ball-- head. We all talked about horses and laughed about silly stuff just like we always did. I guess they didn't see anything had really changed. I was the recipient of much more --refridgerator-kid-art-- while I was going through treatment. Kelly, I bet as time goes by, you and your little sweetie will find your way through this part of your treatment. She is probably afraid for you because she just can't understand what's up with Mom's head? I would take her for a special day so she could pick out some scarves and hats for you. I would also ask her to make some special pictures of Mom's new head....more kid fridge-art. Kid's seem to have much resilience and she will get through this just like you will get through your treatment. Hang in there Kelly... big hugs to you and your little daughter. Take care, Sharon
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • vicki e Profile
    anonymous
    Stage 2B Patient
    Sharon's advice is good. My granddaughters were sad about my hairloss but to make it worse my hair did not grow back. Four years later I am dealing with a recurrence but my bald head is not even an issue and actually more of an excuse to pick out another sporty hat. Keep reassuring your little girl. Trying to keep things as normal as possible is good for the kids and good for you too! Even though I have been bald for four years, I still shampoo and condition my kojack head every day because it makes me feel normal.
    over 7 years Flag
    • Thumb avatar default
      anonymous
      Stage 2A Patient

      Great attitude... Thank you for sharing

      over 6 years Flag
  • kelly merkling Profile
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    Thank u all so much for the wonderful stories and words of encouragement. I will be having my husband buzz my head today cause I can't take all the shedding hair around the house. I will find a way to make this easier for my girls. I also have a 15 month old. One day they will understand the difficult journey I had to take in order to be there for them! Overall I'm very grateful to be alive today.
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Dina Federman Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2012
    I was also worried about how my then 3 yr old son would react. When he first saw me, after I came back from having my hair shaved off wearing a hat and scarf, he didn't bat an eyelash. He said, "I love you, mommy! I want a hat and scarf, too." So we found him a ski cap and scarf and tied it around his head, and he sported it for a few minutes. He didn't have a problem with it. Some weeks or months later, he accidentally pulled off my hat and saw me bald for the first time. He seemed just slightly surprised, but didn't react in any other way, didn't say anything or cry or anything, and he then immediately accepted it as mommy's new look. After that, I was still hiding my bald head from my husband, but not my son.
    almost 7 years Comment Flag
  • Susan Cummings Profile
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    I have been trying to get pregnant for 6 years of been married. My husband and I have been seeing fertility specialist. We have done our best but no luck. My husband has a sperm count which goes up and down, the doctor has recommended him taking the Proceed supplement which he is doing over 4 years with no change in the situation .. I am was so confused until i contacted this powerful Iya Hindi Root and Herbs advised by my friend, so I contacted him and I told him all about my problem, so he agreed to help me, Iya Hindi prayed for me and he sent me some native herbal medicine, which i use, he told me to meet with my husband.. within a 2 weeks i used the medicine he sent me i was uneasy with my self, i started having morning sickness and hormonal changes. immediately went to the my doctor and it was confirm that I was pregnant.. all thanks to Iya Hindi for helping me and my family, i am now a proud mum of a baby boy… Do you need help of such kind then contact Iya Hindi, he can definitely help you. this her email address hindinative@yahoo.com .http://nativehindi.com/Or whats App number +19145295224.
    almost 2 years Comment Flag
  • Erin Timlin Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2011
    Sorry - it was about trying on hats and planning a special date when chemo was over. Check it out!
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Monica Wallooppillai Profile
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    Hello Kelly. I was 42 when I saw my mom for the first time and was initially taken aback. But my brother who stayed with her frequently went up and kissed her beautiful bald head. Kids of all ages will be shocked, but it is the extended support group that help your loved ones accept a new reality. Have her help you make hats for each other, not so much to cover it up but to bring attention to it and to keep her involved. Bless you and your daughter on your journey. MW
    over 7 years Flag
    • Sharon Danielson Profile
      anonymous
      Survivor since 2007

      Monica,
      When I was bald, I embraced my baldness. I didn't always cover my head because I wanted to show people you can be going through breast cancer and still be enjoying life. I called it "going commando". Once people saw the new me for the...

      more

      Monica,
      When I was bald, I embraced my baldness. I didn't always cover my head because I wanted to show people you can be going through breast cancer and still be enjoying life. I called it "going commando". Once people saw the new me for the first time, I am sure there was a few moments to adjust, but they soon found out, I was the same silly idiot I had always been. I didn't want to hide, but I wanted to show people a diagnosis of breast cancer did not mean I was "dead woman walking". It just meant in my case, a 6 month "bad hair day." People got so they would greet me by rubbing my bald head like rubbing Buddha's belly. God bless all women and a few men going through this struggle. You are not alone. Take care, Sharon

      over 7 years Flag
  • Erin Timlin Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2011
    I was so worried about my 5 year old daughter as well but she never even cared! She would sometimes ask when it would grow back but that didn't last long. Even the kids in her pre-k class oohed and aahed over my hats! Now that my hair is growing back they all run up to me and scruff the fuzz. Kids are so resilient. She will likely get over it quickly. There's a cute book we have called mommy's polka dot boo-boo. It wasn't scary all about death
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Marianne R. Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2011
    It is the worst part of treatment. I was scared and wierded out but I knew the chemo caused it and chmo would save my life. Some times we have to do really hard things and it is OK because it makes us stronger. I finally accepted beauty was in the daily fight of this insidious disease. Beauty was also in the strength of my prayer warriors that brought me through with grace and dignty. Beauty was in the people who stopped me in the mall, gas station, bank, bagle store, etc to say they survived cancer and so will I. Tell your children to pray and live a joyful life.
    over 7 years Comment Flag

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