Topic information for: Husband
Related Questions
-
Happy Father's Day to all the husbands and fathers who help us through our breast cancer journey.
Asked by anonymous
Learning About Breast Cancer -
My oncology nurse told me I shouldn't kiss my husband for 3 days following my chemo. Is this normal?
Asked by anonymous
Stage 1 Patient- View all 5 answers
-
anonymous
Stage 2B Patient
I was told the same thing ! Also to close the toilet seat when flushing . It is because they have no positive facts yet but they think our chemo can go into some one else by kissing or if someone wAs to sit on our pee. Also use a condom of your having sex within 3 days of chemo .
Comment 1 -
anonymous
Survivor since 2012
I'm not familiar with this, but it's probably not a bad idea. "Swapping spit" can subject you to possible infection, and your white blood cell count drops after chemo. So kiss him/her on the cheek and wait the three days, would be my suggestion!
Comment 1
-
Has anyone had an axillary lymph node biopsy and why?
Asked by anonymous
Learning About Breast Cancer-
anonymous
Stage 2B Patient
Yes I had sore enlarged nodes and they did an ultrasound and then a biopsy. I had a node dissection and had 9 of 11 positive nodes. Going thru chemo now and have three more infusions. I had an initial diagnosis almost five years ago and had chemo, radiation and mastectomy. Listen to your...
2 comments 1Yes I had sore enlarged nodes and they did an ultrasound and then a biopsy. I had a node dissection and had 9 of 11 positive nodes. Going thru chemo now and have three more infusions. I had an initial diagnosis almost five years ago and had chemo, radiation and mastectomy. Listen to your instincts. My doc thought this was nothing to worry about. :(
-
anonymous
Survivor since 2011
I did and it was positive. I could actually feel the lymph node about halfway between my armpit and breast - it felt like a bean - and I had a needle guided biopsy in addition to a biopsy on the lump I found. If there is cancer and it starts to spread it goes to the nodes so this axillary node...
Comment 0I did and it was positive. I could actually feel the lymph node about halfway between my armpit and breast - it felt like a bean - and I had a needle guided biopsy in addition to a biopsy on the lump I found. If there is cancer and it starts to spread it goes to the nodes so this axillary node is the first one it would hit.
-
-
I am scheduling my biopsy. What should I know to ask a breast surgeon? Don't want to be awake during biopsy. Can they see what it is, and just do either Lumpectomy or Masectomy? Hubby not helpful, and no friends in the area....
Asked by anonymous
Stage 2B Patient- View all 7 answers
-
anonymous
Survivor since 2012
Hi there,
First, I'm sorry you don't have the support you'd like from your husband. We all understand your fear and anxiety -- just know that there are a bunch of women who are here to give you the support you need.
Second, you don't say what kind of biopsy you're having, but I suspect it...
Comment 0Hi there,
First, I'm sorry you don't have the support you'd like from your husband. We all understand your fear and anxiety -- just know that there are a bunch of women who are here to give you the support you need.
Second, you don't say what kind of biopsy you're having, but I suspect it involves minor surgery. You don't really have to be awake, but you don't need general anesthesia either. What they can do is give you what they call "IV sedation" which really relaxes you. They may also throw some stuff in there so you don't remember the procedure at all. They will definitely make the entire biopsy area numb so you won't feel any pain. the biopsy doesn't take very long -- putting you under general anesthesia would probably take longer!
Third, a diagnosis isn't a one-step process. We ALL want to know right away. A breast surgeon will have an idea once he/she sees the lump. But in my experience they don't usually do frozen sections (a quick look by a pathologist) during or immediately after a biopsy. They send the tissue to the pathologist so he/she can look at it carefully and make a proper diagnosis.
If it's cancer, the doctor will want to talk to you about what type of cancer it is, along with a number of other things. Most importantly, he/she will discuss options with you. Ultimately it will be your decision, but as long as your doctor is a BOARD CERTIFIED surgeon who likely specializes in breast surgery, he/she will steer you in the right direction.
Best of luck to you. Keep us posted!
-
anonymous
Survivor since 2007
Anonymous,
There are decisions to be made from what is found by doing the biopsy. SInce you have not had one, a needle biopsy is not a "for sure" having breast cancer. Needle biopsy's are done awake. As awful as it sounds, it is a quick procedure and many times the doctor doing the biopsy...1 comment 0Anonymous,
There are decisions to be made from what is found by doing the biopsy. SInce you have not had one, a needle biopsy is not a "for sure" having breast cancer. Needle biopsy's are done awake. As awful as it sounds, it is a quick procedure and many times the doctor doing the biopsy has some information to share. A small area of the breast is numbed, and the needle used to take the sample, doesn't hurt, you just feel pressure. Again.... just because you are having a biopsy, certainly does not mean you have breast cancer. So many of my friends have had biopsy's and of all of them, I am the only one who turned up with breast cancer. Please take one thing at a time. If you have not had a biopsy and actually been told you have breast cancer assume you DON'T until the biopsy results are back. In the world of breast cancer.... there are a lot of testing, and decision making that goes into it even before you have surgery. One step at a time....
You have the biopsy, in about a week, you get the results. Most of the time, there is nothing wrong and you just go on with your life. If you do have breast cancer, you will have a series of testing before you have surgery. After surgery, you will hear about the rest of your treatment. Every woman is treated as an individual. A diagnosis of breast cancer is NOT a death sentence! We, who have had breast cancer, will be your friends, and sisters in this journey. BUT FIRST.... you have to be diagnosed with breast cancer!
Hang in there darlin' you may not join our Ya-Ya Sisterhood until you hear those lousy words.... "You have breast cancer...." Here is wishing you WON'T be one of the members!
Hugs and caring, Sharon
-
First mammogram since diagnosis and treatment is Monday. How many ways to say I am nervous? Used to be routine. Not any more. Taking my husband along for support.
Asked by anonymous
Survivor since 2011- View all 4 answers
-
anonymous
Survivor since 2011
Out of everything thing I've done that mammogram made me the most nervous. But it was pure joy when it came back clear. God Bless and good thoughts for your mammogram.
Comment 1 -
anonymous
Learning About Breast Cancer
Hi Nancy, I am going for my first mammogram 1 year after my diagnosis on Monday I know how you are feeling may all come back clear good luck
Comment 0
-
How soon after mastectomy is it ok to have intimate relations with your spouse?
Asked by anonymous
Survivor since 2012- View all 8 answers
-
anonymous
Stage 2B Patient
I can't tell if you are the patient or the spouse, but I am a patient. I know that for us, "intimate" became something different than sex. He waited for me to initiate. Realize that there are so many emotions to deal with having had your breasts removed. Positioning, energy, everything about...
Comment 1I can't tell if you are the patient or the spouse, but I am a patient. I know that for us, "intimate" became something different than sex. He waited for me to initiate. Realize that there are so many emotions to deal with having had your breasts removed. Positioning, energy, everything about our first, second ... 30th time is different than before. I am not in the mood in the same way. My heart is, but my body could care less most of the time. I want to let him know I love him and I feel allowing him some normalcy of a sexual release seems important for him, so I do what I can.
-
anonymous
Survivor since 2012
As soon as you and your special other are comfortable . My husband was afraid I'd break. He got over it. :-)
Comment 1
-
Has anyone else's spouse become argumentative, feeling unappreciated, etc.? It just started today when we went to meet the surgeon
Asked by anonymous
Learning About Breast Cancer- View all 4 answers
-
anonymous
Survivor since 2009
Yes, it is all hard on them also. One they are used to being taken care of and not the care giver (their mothers and probably some of our faults). They are frustrated because they are "hard core fixers" "let's just get er done" personalities and can't fix this for us. My husband took a long...
1 comment 2Yes, it is all hard on them also. One they are used to being taken care of and not the care giver (their mothers and probably some of our faults). They are frustrated because they are "hard core fixers" "let's just get er done" personalities and can't fix this for us. My husband took a long time to adjust to reality. He thought everyone was "creating things, test after test, etc. to collect insurance". He also felt if he didn't accept it it therefor would not exist. Hopefully as my husband finally came to terms and rallied for me, yours will to. As mentioned above, forgive n forget. I kept telling myself if Jesus could forgive for what was done to him, I could forgive my husband and give him some slack. Some of the things we argued about, keeping the house clean, turned out to not be important in the realm of things. Good luck.
-
anonymous
Survivor since 2011
We seem to answer this a lot. You two are in a really scarry part of treatment. When anyone is scared shi@less nobody is at their best and say and do stupid shi@. I think I gave my husband a pass because he sure as he@l needed to give me one. We are 21 months from treaent time and perspective...
1 comment 0We seem to answer this a lot. You two are in a really scarry part of treatment. When anyone is scared shi@less nobody is at their best and say and do stupid shi@. I think I gave my husband a pass because he sure as he@l needed to give me one. We are 21 months from treaent time and perspective makes most things ok. I'm doing my last bit of recon we arre sitting in bed trying to figure what kimd of nipples we want. A lot of giggling is going on because it is one of the strangest breast cancer conversation we'veh
-
My 34 yr old wife diagnosed w/breast cancer on 12/19/12 had CT scan 1/21/13 learned it had metastasized to her kidney, bilat mastectomy 1/25/13 feel so lost, doesn't seem to be much info on it spreading to kidney. Has this happened to any one else?
Asked by anonymous
Learning About Breast Cancer- View all 4 answers
-
anonymous
Survivor since 2007
Joel,
I know we are all so sorry to hear about your dear wife. You are still in a bit of a discovery phase even though she is heading into surgery in a couple of days. I would not despair as much can be done in regards to treatment of breast cancer in all stages. This is going to be a big...1 comment 10Joel,
I know we are all so sorry to hear about your dear wife. You are still in a bit of a discovery phase even though she is heading into surgery in a couple of days. I would not despair as much can be done in regards to treatment of breast cancer in all stages. This is going to be a big upcoming surgery and she will need you, probably more than she has ever needed you. I usually tell women heading into this battle, they need to put on their warrior panties.... you, I will tell you need to put on your warrior boxers! Be positive, and supportive, do not go to "the dark place." It is easy to slip into thinking the very worst...try not to do that, it won't help either of you. Be her protector...don't let people around her start telling her horrible stories about "Aunt Millie." New treatments are different and numerous compared to Aunt Millie's day. Your wife is terrified as are you. Actually, as time goes by and you hear her treatment plan both your mind and hers will actually feels some relief because you know how her care team will be proceeding. God's blessing, please keep in touch. We are a supportive group here and will share our experiences with our various journey's. Take care, Sharon -
anonymous
Learning About Breast Cancer
Joel, I couldn't of said it better then Sharon. I know that my husband standing by my side while I go through this journey has been so beneficial to my recovery. Hang in there and when times get hard lean on God. I'll be praying for u both.
2 comments 3
-
Was anyone's husband not supportive
Asked by anonymous
Learning About Breast Cancer- View all 13 answers
-
anonymous
Stage 1 Patient
Not my husband, but my son. (He's grown & gone with a family of his own) I had the hardest time telling him & all he did is listened, & said "ok" a couple times. Has never wanted to talk about it. I felt he didn't care. It wasn't until his wife told me how hard he is taking it, cries all the time...
Comment 4Not my husband, but my son. (He's grown & gone with a family of his own) I had the hardest time telling him & all he did is listened, & said "ok" a couple times. Has never wanted to talk about it. I felt he didn't care. It wasn't until his wife told me how hard he is taking it, cries all the time & is so worried about me. It's been a year now, & I think he realizes now that I'm ok - never talks cancer, but he makes fun of my hair. So, my point is, everyone deals with things differently. Talk with your husband to see how he is really feeling. Prayers to you.
-
anonymous
Survivor since 2007
We have had women write in that has said their husband's left them when they were diagnosed. Breast cancer is a tough diagnosis on everyone and some husbands react in different ways. If this is your husband, you might talk to your oncologist about it and maybe you could get a referral to a...
Comment 1We have had women write in that has said their husband's left them when they were diagnosed. Breast cancer is a tough diagnosis on everyone and some husbands react in different ways. If this is your husband, you might talk to your oncologist about it and maybe you could get a referral to a councilor to talk about why your husband can't be supportive. Take care, Sharon.
-
Was anyone married to an abuser when diagnosed? If so, did they treat you worse, especially with reconstruction?
Asked by anonymous
Learning About Breast Cancer- View all 11 answers
-
anonymous
Stage 1 Patient
I'm so sorry you are in a bad situation. I have to advise you to get out, get help. You are stronger than you think. You can't go thru cancer without good support. I can assure you that reconstruction, in the end, looks very real, but that won't matter to an abuser. You don't need negativity in...
2 comments 2I'm so sorry you are in a bad situation. I have to advise you to get out, get help. You are stronger than you think. You can't go thru cancer without good support. I can assure you that reconstruction, in the end, looks very real, but that won't matter to an abuser. You don't need negativity in your life. Please, please, put on your big girl panties on & realize how strong you are. Get that person, or yourself OUT, & surround yourself with positivity so you can concentrate on fighting cancer! We are all here for you. Prayers to you.
-
anonymous
Patient
Well I don't know why you have to wait until May but at least you have the goal line in sight so in the meantime, stay safe. Don't let his BS stick to you. You recognize him as an abuser so you know what he says has absolutely no merit. You have to take care of YOU now, not him so make...
Comment 1Well I don't know why you have to wait until May but at least you have the goal line in sight so in the meantime, stay safe. Don't let his BS stick to you. You recognize him as an abuser so you know what he says has absolutely no merit. You have to take care of YOU now, not him so make yourself the priority. Don't lose sight of that date. As you said yourself, you've gone back twice to no avail. Three times won't make the charm and he is probably only going to change with professional help. I bet that is out of the question so please take care of yourself. I will say a prayer that time passes swiftly for you and that you find yourself on the other side of this treatment and that relationship. Love and Hugs.
Related Topics
- Advice
- Attitude
- Axillary Node
- Biopsy
- Body Image
- Breast Reconstruction
- Chemotherapy
- Comfort
- Coping
- Diagnosis
- Double Mastectomy
- Emotions
- Family
- Father
- First Mammogram
- Friends
- Hope
- Intimate Relations
- Kidney Damage
- Kissing
- Loved Ones
- Lumpectomy
- Lymph Node
- Male Breast Cancer
- Mammogram
- Mascetomy
- Mastectomy
- Metastasized
- Nerves
- Nervous
- Questions For Surgeon
- Questions To Ask
- Reconstructive Surgery
- Routine
- Sex
- Shock
- Support
- Surgery
- Treatment
- What To Expect
Looking for another topic?
Use the search box in the top right.
About Beyond The Shock®
Beyond The Shock is a comprehensive online guide to understanding breast cancer.
It is a resource for women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer, a place for loved ones to gain a better understanding of the disease, and a tool for doctors to share information.
Beyond The Shock is a collaborative breast cancer guide created by the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc. (NBCF) with the support of the finest medical experts, doctors, and researchers in the world. NBCF utilized ground-breaking technology and the resources of the global medical community to create an accessible platform for understanding a diagnosis of breast cancer.
More Information
Terms of Service
|
Privacy Policy
|
Sitemap
|
Medical Disclaimer
"Copyright © 2011 - BeyondTheShock.com\r\n®\r\n. All Rights Reserved." BeyondTheShock.com ® is operated by the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc. , a non-profit organization with a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt status. Oven Bits